# Adulthood **October 2nd, 2024**  When did you realize you were “officially an adult”? Was there an external event that forced you to assume the role of an adult at an earlier stage in life? Or maybe it was an internal one. For most people, the process is spontaneous. You’re not consciously aware of the process and there’s subconscious factors that help play a role in the transition. It’s similar to the feeling of being anesthetized. One minute you’re awake, staring at the face of the surgeon and crew. The next, you’re recovering in a hospital bed, slightly giddy from the anesthetics. Like anything in life, the rate at which people become adults varies. Some people become adults very quickly. Some people become adults later on in life. Some people *never become adults.* When I was younger, I used to think about when I would begin to “feel like an adult”. Time passed and I was still waiting, wondering when that moment would come and I could finally call myself an adult. It never arrived. And then I stopped looking for the answer. --- Time continued to pass, and I continued to learn. The knowledge and life experiences I accumulated over time allowed me to become more sure of who I am. _To understand who I am_. Understanding who you are and knowing you are, are two different things. To know who you are is the beginning. It's the basis for eventually forming an understanding of who you are. What rules have you created for yourself to govern your life? Do you abide by those rules? _Do you have any rules?_ Are you in touch with your emotions and not a passive observer of them? Are you well acquainted with the different parts of your psyche? Even the more insidious ones? These are a few questions that can help you gauge whether you understand yourself. Understanding who you are will lead you to constantly examine yourself and your decisions under a microscope. It’s a never-ending process. My thoughts and how I perceived the world continued to grow and deepen over time, until I eventually gained something. A sense of self. A true sense of self. In every sense of the word. Free from external influences or pretenses. Not the fabricated one you unwillingly create because society expects you to “be” a certain way. One that made me realize that who “I am” is why any of “this” exists. Abstract ideas tend to lose or gain experience because of this belief. Because “I am”, the meaning and existence of “this” holds a fundamental value. It’s worth noting that examining other people can help you understand yourself better in some regards. First, a few acknowledgments need to be made. Acknowledge that the people around you are just as flawed in their ways as you are in yours. Acknowledging that you are perpetually flawed will allow you to discard the rose-colored lenses and examine the world for how and what it truly is. Because “perfect” is an illusion. A distraction. It’s a lie we tell ourselves until that “perfect” entity needs to be altered or adjusted or augmented in some form or another. Or even completely discarded. Perfection doesn’t exist, and chasing it will lead to ongoing bouts of mental restlessness. To combat this way of thinking, what’s the solution? You have to simply exist and experience life. Why? Because with experience comes knowledge. With knowledge comes wisdom. With wisdom comes understanding. And with understanding, comes Adulthood. > "It was a large room. Full of people. All kinds. And they had all arrived at the same building at more or less the same time. And they were all free. And they were all asking themselves the same question: What is behind that curtain?" > You were born. And so you're free. So happy birthday." - Laurie Anderson (Born, Never Asked)